Judge, Jury and Executioner!

They have placed me where I can make call outs to different people here locally, hiring new recruits and setting up appointments. After I was transferred from the last department, The first week they've assign me here was nice. You get to call out and interview agents to be, by phone and if they pass, you've given a schedule. They also hand you a script to study and a few things like call back number, a report sheet or score card for the interviewee. A nice quiet job. Well the longer I make calls and the more people I fail, although inside me is a conflict that's been going on. I can't explain, but I hate failing people like that. Although I believe a right person with the right heart can do this job properly, not me. I'd rather set-up 10 computers and reinstall OS all at the same time than doing this! Reminds me a story about a young girl, long ago in a Korean dynasty.
Here's the little story I have to cut short so to get to my point. She used to be the king's head chef, then got assign to become a nurse to follow her dreams. She performed very well in her school and was reassign again for the king. Later her enemies tried to kill her because they don't want to loose their powers. Her past was a long story, but they killed her mother, and her mentor becuase of false accusations and greed. And so the queen decided to spare the nurse's life and set a trap for her enemies, because the king got ill in an attempt for his life, and then the nurse's enemies were vanqished by death. The nurse cured the king and was greatful for her skills. Later, after the nurse went back to the queen and the queen told her that she owes her life. The young prince got ill. According to the palace head nurse commette has no records of suck sickness. The young prince suffers tremendously from pain inflicted by boil like thing on his skin. She was later summond by the queen again. This is the point i was taking about. The queen ask the nurse to make her son stop suffering by ending his life quickly and discreetly since the nurse 'owes' her life from the queen, who saved her from her enemies. The nurse refueses and would rather die. The queen, upset, told the nurse that her rank is now reduced again to being a chef. The king overheard them talking and summond the nurse. The king ask what was the request of the queen to her and that she rather die than doing it? Being upset, all the nurse cried so hard and refused the king's answer and would rather die. Being so pressured and all she ran out to her love and would asked him to leave the palace forever and start over a new life. Her love one, who's the captain of the guards left with her and took down his badge and went aloft with the nurse. Sorry I have to cut it here becuase this is my point. The pressure that builds from doing something right ranther than doing something by the book or by the rules set to you is a hard thing for me.
I'd rather leave and start over, but I still bound by so many things that need me. My obligations at home, my wife and child. I rather die than see them suffer and starve. Where will I go? I'm stuck with this job, and I must adhere to it's will. no matter how many lives I will unwittingly crush in the long run! I was given the task of Judge, Jury and Executioner!! A hard job for me. I wish it never had to be this way! As I execute an innocent life, It never felt very easy. the repercussion is very tremendous. Stressful. I can't bear it sometimes! I hate this powers! I brings me saddness!! For those whom I failed! I'm sorry, it's not that you need more training and all, but it's my JOB!! No remorse!